As this year winds down and we prepare our hearts and minds for a new start, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on this year. I came into 2015 in a relationship that I thought would last long past June 19th. Alas, that was not the case. I won’t take you through the ups and downs that lead up to us parting ways but I will tell you that we had both become unhappy people. The love I had for her was real and it was hard to let go of. But that doesn’t mean that we were meant to be. I was in constant battle with myself and I felt guilty because I knew that I was shutting down but I didn’t know how to stop. The break-up wasn’t quite as painful as what came directly after. Yet I found myself feeling grateful for that pain because that pain is what pushed me forward and gave me the strength to truly let go and move on. Despite the mix of feelings that I had to go through, my ex’s honesty enabled me to move on without anger. I have respect for people who are honest even when it goes against their better judgement. It’s easy to live by the mentality that “what you don’t know won’t hurt you”. But I have found that there is freedom in complete honesty. The truth may hurt but it also facilitates the healing process.
Our break-up was a significant turning point in my year. It coincided with a 5-month health scare. I had been going through some serious complications and my first doctor’s appointment was scheduled a week after our split. That appointment offered no peace of mind and the next few months consisted of a series of tests, scans, and even a surgery. I am beyond happy to say that in the end, all was well. I have no serious health problems and everything is back to normal.
Being single again means a lot to me. To some it means being alone, starting over, and/or getting back into the dating pool. To me it means living for myself and making decisions without regard for someone who I once shared a life with. Being the free spirited gypsy girl that I am, I tend to prefer this freedom. However, when I’m with someone, I consider them in everything I do…whether it’s plans for the weekend or plans for the following year, my person will always be a part of my decision-making.
Being on my own prompted me to think about the future as well as the present. I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of some awesome things this year. This was my second year participating in the Chris4Life Annual Scope It Out 5k (for colon cancer awareness), and it was also my second year participating in Relay for Life. I had a chance to do some volunteer work with the NC Harm Reduction Coalition (which I plan to do more of in the upcoming year). These are the type of things that I want to pour into for 2016.
Throughout this crazy roller coaster of a year, my future endeavors are becoming more and more clear. So as I exit 2015, I’m taking new vision along with late nights that turned into early mornings, spontaneous roadtrips, drunk kisses, heartfelt moments, sad goodbyes, happy reunions, and countless adventures! Overall 2015 was a great year. Every year has its ups and downs but I am happy to say that the highs have certainly outweighed the lows. Here’s wishing you all the best 2016 you could possibly dream of!