Goodbye 2015

As this year winds down and we prepare our hearts and minds for a new start, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on this year. I came into 2015 in a relationship that I thought would last long past June 19th. Alas, that was not the case. I won’t take you through the ups and downs that lead up to us parting ways but I will tell you that we had both become unhappy people. The love I had for her was real and it was hard to let go of. But that doesn’t mean that we were meant to be. I was in constant battle with myself and I felt guilty because I knew that I was shutting down but I didn’t know how to stop. The break-up wasn’t quite as painful as what came directly after. Yet I found myself feeling grateful for that pain because that pain is what pushed me forward and gave me the strength to truly let go and move on. Despite the mix of feelings that I had to go through, my ex’s honesty enabled me to move on without anger. I have respect for people who are honest even when it goes against their better judgement. It’s easy to live by the mentality that “what you don’t know won’t hurt you”. But I have found that there is freedom in complete honesty. The truth may hurt but it also facilitates the healing process.

Our break-up was a significant turning point in my year. It coincided with a 5-month health scare. I had been going through some serious complications and my first doctor’s appointment was scheduled a week after our split. That appointment offered no peace of mind and the next few months consisted of a series of tests, scans, and even a surgery. I am beyond happy to say that in the end, all was well. I have no serious health problems and everything is back to normal.

Being single again means a lot to me. To some it means being alone, starting over, and/or getting back into the dating pool. To me it means living for myself and making decisions without regard for someone who I once shared a life with. Being the free spirited gypsy girl that I am, I tend to prefer this freedom. However, when I’m with someone, I consider them in everything I do…whether it’s plans for the weekend or plans for the following year, my person will always be a part of my decision-making.

Being on my own prompted me to think about the future as well as the present. I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of some awesome things this year. This was my second year participating in the Chris4Life Annual Scope It Out 5k (for colon cancer awareness), and it was also my second year participating in Relay for Life. I had a chance to do some volunteer work with the NC Harm Reduction Coalition (which I plan to do more of in the upcoming year). These are the type of things that I want to pour into for 2016.

Throughout this crazy roller coaster of a year, my future endeavors are becoming more and more clear. So as I exit 2015, I’m taking new vision along with late nights that turned into early mornings, spontaneous roadtrips, drunk kisses, heartfelt moments, sad goodbyes, happy reunions, and countless adventures! Overall 2015 was a great year. Every year has its ups and downs but I am happy to say that the highs have certainly outweighed the lows. Here’s wishing you all the best 2016 you could possibly dream of!

xoxo

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Wild child

I have mad respect for people who can create a blog that focuses on one category (i.e. food, travel, personal advice, “how to”, etc). I truly admire that kind of consistency! However, I can go ahead and tell you that I don’t possess it. This blog will be completely random and all over the place. I may share my personal beliefs today and my favorite recipe tomorrow. All I can tell you is that I am anything but predictable.

Today I’ll continue with the introduction. After all, you still don’t know much about me. The things listed in my first post could apply to any free spirited girl, right?

Well this free spirit was born of roots that are spread out about as far as you could possibly stretch! My mom is from a tiny town in Eastern North Carolina. I grew up on the country side. We had  few neighbors and a lot of cotton fields. Most of my family didn’t (and some still don’t) approve of interracial marriages. To this day, I believe the only thing I got from them is a touch of stubbornness and a lot of freckles. Our views and beliefs couldn’t clash any worse. They love me nonetheless!

My “father” on the other hand, is from a speck on the globe. It’s a teeny tiny island in the middle of the Pacific ocean. My first visit was complete culture shock. It took me about three months to adjust to life there. I was 15 years old and a long way from home.

Thinking back to that time in my life, I’m quite certain that that experience played a significant part in the birth of my gypsy soul. To have left everything I knew at such a young age, and experience a world that was completely foreign, and most importantly, to have adapted and grown to love that world, well, it was empowering to say the least. In retrospect, I have no doubt that it opened my eyes to possibilities. It instilled courage to step out of my comfort zone and it sparked a hunger for more…I’ve been wild ever since.

Who am I?

I’m the girl who chases sunsets, wakes up early for sunrises, and completely geeks out at the sight of the stars! I will always be mesmerized by the way they dance in the sky.

I’m the girl who absolutely adores her family…and believes that the term “family” has nothing to do with blood and everything to do with unfailing, unwavering, and unconditional love.

I’m the walking contradiction who loves security and stability but runs from commitment. I’m the free spirit that panics at the thought of being tied down or held back from living life to the absolute fullest.

I’m the girl who doesn’t entertain negative energy because life is just too fucking short and there’s no time to be anything but happy!

I’m the crabby Cancerian with a hard shell and a soft heart. And when I love…I love hard.

I’m a late night, early morning, spontaneous adventuring, music loving, hot tea drinking, night fishing, adrenaline junkie, deep conversationalist, star-gazing, nature walking, gin and tonic sipping, messy-haired, dancing while no one (or everyone) is looking kind of girl.

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